Obituaries

Steven Robinson
B: 1957-06-02
D: 2018-09-15
View Details
Robinson, Steven
Rose Clark
B: 1959-09-07
D: 2018-09-09
View Details
Clark, Rose
Velma Long
B: 1917-02-28
D: 2018-09-07
View Details
Long , Velma
Calvin Ryder
B: 1935-05-31
D: 2018-09-02
View Details
Ryder , Calvin
Dawn Denbow
B: 1952-09-20
D: 2018-08-31
View Details
Denbow, Dawn
Phillip Morse
B: 1939-03-05
D: 2018-08-29
View Details
Morse , Phillip
John Fleming
B: 1930-08-05
D: 2018-08-26
View Details
Fleming, John
Mark McDonald
B: 1960-12-14
D: 2018-08-25
View Details
McDonald, Mark
Christopher Marston
B: 1978-09-18
D: 2018-08-24
View Details
Marston, Christopher
Cynthia Bauersfeld
B: 1935-00-00
D: 2018-08-22
View Details
Bauersfeld, Cynthia
Betty Sewell
B: 1934-09-27
D: 2018-08-21
View Details
Sewell, Betty
Linda Goodall
B: 1945-09-13
D: 2018-08-20
View Details
Goodall , Linda
Leon Dunphy
B: 1930-11-20
D: 2018-08-14
View Details
Dunphy, Leon
Geraldine Craig
B: 1930-09-17
D: 2018-08-11
View Details
Craig , Geraldine
June Bustard
B: 1929-06-09
D: 2018-07-24
View Details
Bustard , June
Travis Kinney
B: 1975-10-02
D: 2018-07-23
View Details
Kinney , Travis
Morris Cote
B: 1934-06-29
D: 2018-07-17
View Details
Cote, Morris
Garrett Lindsay
B: 1968-11-07
D: 2018-07-16
View Details
Lindsay, Garrett
Patricia Violette
B: 1933-07-15
D: 2018-07-09
View Details
Violette , Patricia
Ardella Bennett
B: 1938-09-13
D: 2018-07-03
View Details
Bennett, Ardella
Ralph Tapley
B: 1928-04-27
D: 2018-06-30
View Details
Tapley, Ralph

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
10 Water Street
PO Box 579
Houlton, ME 04730
Phone: (207) 532-3333
Fax: (207) 532-4447

Immediate Need

If you have immediate need of our services, we're available for you 24 hours a day.

Pre-Arrangement

A gift to your family, sparing them hard decisions at an emotional time.

Obituaries & Tributes

It is not always possible to pay respects in person, so we hope that this small token will help.

Order Flowers

Offer a gift of comfort and beauty to a family suffering from loss.

Ending Denial and Finding Acceptance

Acceptance is the very first task in your bereavement. Dr. James Worden writes that we must "come full face with the reality that the person is dead, that the person is gone and will not return."

This is where a funeral can be very important. Traditionally, the casketed body of the deceased is at the front of the room and guests are invited to step up to personally say their goodbyes. Part of stepping up means seeing with our own eyes that death has actually occurred and that actualizing is an essential part of coming to accept the death. Yet, the tradition of viewing has eroded over time with many families today choosing cremation and opting to hold a memorial service after the cremation has taken place. The focal point of the ceremony becomes the cremation urn, holding the cremated remains or ashes out-of-sight and making the reality of the death less evident and the road to acceptance less clearly marked.

Acceptance May Seem Out-of-Reach

For many, acceptance means agreeing to reality. Most of us, when we lose someone dear to us, simply don't want to agree to it; we actually have an aversion to agreeing and accepting. So, let's use a different word - try adjustment, or integration. Both words focus on the purposeful release of disbelief. Someone who has integrated the death of a loved one into their life has cleared the path to creating a new life; a pro-active life where a loved one's memory is held dear, perhaps as a motivating force for change.

It does take time. In Coping with the Loss of a Loved One, the American Cancer Society cautions readers that "acceptance does not happen overnight. It’s common for it to take a year or longer to resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it’s normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years after their death. In time, the person should be able to reclaim the emotional energy that was invested in the relationship with the deceased, and use it in other relationships." 

Whatever you call it, this essential part of mourning is what allows us to live fully again. It allows us to step out of the darkness of mere existence and back into the sunshine where life is sweet again. Of course, it's a very different life than the one you had before your loved one died.

Sources:
Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.

American Cancer Society, "Coping with the Loss of a Loved One", 2012



 

52 Weeks of Support

It's hard to know what to say when someone experiences loss. Our free weekly newsletter provides insights, quotes and messages on how to help during the first year.